When work takes too much
Tiredness that a weekend does not fix, and distance from work you used to enjoy. How to notice the signs of overload, and where to start.
Many people who come to me with difficulties at work begin with a similar sentence: “I used to like my job, and now my stomach tightens on Sunday evenings.” Stress at work is ordinary, and in a sensible dose it can even help us get going. The trouble starts when the tension never gets a chance to ease, and rest stops bringing relief.
Signs worth noticing
Overload rarely appears overnight. It usually builds up over weeks and is easy to play down, because “everyone feels like this”. It is worth pausing if you notice, for example:
- tiredness that does not go away after a weekend or a holiday
- distance, discouragement or cynicism towards your work and the people you work with
- a sense that whatever you do, it will never be enough
- difficulty switching off after work, with tasks coming back to you in the evening and at night
- giving up things that used to give you energy, because “there is no time for them”
These signs are not a diagnosis, nor a reason to worry in themselves. They tell you that the way you are living now costs you more than you are able to recover.
What happens in your head
In cognitive behavioural therapy we look not only at the workload but also at the beliefs that keep it going. They are often thoughts like “I have to reply straight away”, “if I say no, I will let the team down” or “I will rest once everything is done”. They sound reasonable and responsible, and yet they slowly blur the line between work and the rest of life.
Once you notice and name such thoughts, you can test them: what will really happen if I answer this message tomorrow morning? Does everything really depend on me? Questions like these do not take responsibility away, but they help you see it realistically.
Where to start
Change does not have to begin with big decisions. Small steps that bring back a sense of influence often help:
- set a fixed time when you finish work, and one signal that it is over – a walk, a change of clothes, the laptop put away in a drawer
- plan two short activities a week just for yourself, and treat them like appointments you do not cancel
- for a few days, note what tires you most and what gives you even a little satisfaction – good material for a talk with your manager or a therapist
- notice one situation in which you say “yes” when you want to say “no”, and think about how a polite refusal might sound
My background in business and management helps me understand the realities of working in organisations: the pressure for results, constant change and expectations from many sides. In therapy we look for solutions that fit your real calendar, not an ideal world.
When to ask for support
If the tiredness has lasted a long time and affects your sleep, your health or your relationships, it is worth talking to a specialist. With physical complaints, it is also a good idea to see a doctor. You do not have to wait until things are “really bad”.
If you recognise these signs in yourself, book a free 30-minute consultation. We will talk about what is going on and work out together what kind of help would suit you best.